What if...

the roles were reversed?

When you forget the plastic bag...

perhaps a newspaper will do. (Clinton Ave. between Dekalb Ave. and Lafayette Ave., Brooklyn)

Reason for alarm?

Nope. Just a bag of bagels...but if you squint it could be a bag of something else. (Clinton Ave. between Dekalb Ave. and Lafayette Ave., Brooklyn).

The Perfect Pet?

invisible dog = invisible poop

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The couple that...

picks up poo together stays together (Fort Greene Park @ Ft. Greene Pl. and Dekalb Ave, Brooklyn).

Apparently, the joke's been on us...

for a couple thousand years.